How to Catch a Monster...

As Cole explained it to Aunt Kar, "We seem to have a bit of a monster problem at our house." The problem started when Cole had a very scary dream a week or so ago and we were awakened by his screams at 4:00 AM. Since then, he's been following me around like a puppy dog non-stop, even in the daytime. Things are getting a little better, so in case you have a monster problem at your house one day, here is how we have dealt with said monster problem.

Step 1: Mom "sleeps" in Cole's bed with him. Except that no sleeping took place.
Step 2: After 2 hours of the above nonsense, mom gives up and turns on cartoons for Cole.
Step 3: Mom explains to Cole that he cannot walk so close to her after he gets smooshed between mom and the wall .
Step 4: Realize that logic is not going to convince him there is no such thing as monsters when he says, "But Mom, bears and scary men can be monsters." So true.
Step 5: Cole creates 3 monster traps - big boxes with marshmallows inside for bait (we use them when we catch fish, after all) and a sign that says, "no monsters allowed." One for his room, one for the front door, and one for Annie's room.



Step 6: Put Cole to bed and promise that the monster traps will catch any monsters that come to our house
Step 7: After Cole reappears from his bed 3 times (which is not unusual), promise to buy him a new shark if he goes to sleep. I am never above bribery. Realize at 4:00 AM when Cole stealthily appears in our room that I should have told him he had to stay in bed the entire night to receive the shark.
Step 8: Cole enjoys shark.
Step 9: Purchase a new green squirt bottle, fill it with water and vinegar, and attach a label that says, "Monster Repellent."
Step 10: Be grateful that vinegar is a cleaning agent as Cole proceeds to empty the bottle spraying the house with monster repellent.
Step 11: Re-fill monster repellent. Lie to Cole and tell him that it came with instructions of how to make your own.
Step 12: Tuck Cole in with monster repellent under his pillow.
Step 13: Floyd suggests we say a prayer. We actually say several because mom forgets to ask for no nightmares.
Step 14: Realize I should have just asked Floyd in the first place.